Strength

It’s been almost exactly a year since I opened up about our struggle with fertility.  When I sat down to write about it, I was overlooking the beautiful Lake of the Ozarks.  This morning, I am at Table Rock Lake with my family…including my 7 week old miracle.  It’s loud…because we’re loud…so we’ll see how much writing I actually get done.

We’re on the deck.  The top deck.  There are multiple decks.  This is a fancy house!  Mom is sitting next to me.  Uncle John and Latecia flew from Arizona to be here.  They are sitting at the table playing dominoes with Nick, Reece, Peyton and Petyon’s friend, Mea.  Drew is downstairs napping with Samson.  Darren is downstairs throwing a silent fit about his stuffed animal being ‘broken.’  Turns out Will asked, “Have you ever seen a reindeer fly?”  Darren replied, “No!”  And Will threw it off the deck.  I’m not sure where Will is right now.  Katie and Leah went to the Beer Cave with Becky and Ryan.  Cody will be here this afternoon.  I think that’s everyone.

I am so thankful for these times.  And for the fact that we can all hang out for an extended weekend without going crazy!  My favorite is waking up in the morning.  Sitting around drinking coffee and having quiet conversation that eventually gets louder as more and more people wake up.  We make a few pots of coffee….enough to go around a couple of times.  We snack on some breakfast.  Ryan makes bacon.  Eventually, the coffee drinking turns into beer drinking  around 10 or 10:30am.  John, AKA Mr. Michelada, whips up a few of those for everyone.  

Yesterday morning it was raining, forcing everyone to just stay and hang out for a bit before heading out on the boat.  Some napped, some played pitch, some just hung out.  The rain was awesome.  In the afternoon, a group headed out on the boat and the house got quieter.  Samson and I have gotten some serious snuggle time in and I just loved every minute of it.  Though, I think all of the commotions of the day wore him out!  He went to bed around 7:30 and was pretty fussy when he woke up to eat at night.  This morning, he is better!  He snuggled with Yaya and ate his mid-morning snack outside.  He’s loving being outside and snuggling with whoever will snuggle with him!

A conversation from last night stuck out to me.  I love love love the meaningful conversations that Katie and I always seem to have.  The topic was ‘STRENGTH’.  She and I pondered why some people just have the ability to hold things in.  Or at least that what it looks like to us from the outside.  We’re not those kinds of people.  And I think we’re starting to be ok with that.

I’ve pondered this a lot.  What is STRENGTH?  What is it to be strong?  I’ve decided that STRENGTH seems to have different meanings for different people.  My strength is not holding it in.  My strength is letting it out.  Being vulnerable so that others can relate.  So that I can connect with others.  It’s what I love doing.

I usually don’t end like this – but if you’re reading this and care to comment, I would love to know what your STRENGTH is.  We are all strong in different ways and at different times.  It’s what keeps us all going.

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1 thought on “Strength”

  1. Strong. Doing hard things. Overcoming obstacles and adversity. Willingness to grow and be changed. Standing in truth even when the world tries to convince you otherwise. Revealing your weakness. These all come to mind. Love this message.

    Like

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