My heart is so full of gratitude.
Looking out the east-facing hallway window this morning, I caught a glimpse of the brightest star. Chances are, it was actually a planet. Back in high school, one of my good friends told me that the really bright stars that don’t twinkle are planets. Planet or star, it held my attention. I snuggled my new babe and remembered the morning of the day we first knew about him. How I’d prayed and wished for him as I laid on our front patio that morning. This morning, Samson and I gazed at the stars together, and I thanked God for such a beautiful blessing.
We’re slowly adjusting to this new life of ours. Boy, the first few days were rough. We got home from the hospital on Wednesday and on Friday we called to see if the doctor could see us that day. Samson was showing signs of jaundice. Fussy, Lethargic, and I thought he was looking a little yellow. Both Thursday and Friday morning, I passed him off to Drew in tears after being up trying to feed him unsuccessfully. I was exhausted and at a loss of what to do. Thankfully, God blessed me with a husband who simply asked his mom. Per her recommendation, we called the doctor.
Our appointment was scheduled at 12:30 and they were very quick to see us. We spent the next three hours with the doctor and nurses helping us with breastfeeding. At least once, the doctor actually ran to her house to grab some things to show me. She called a nurse over from the hospital to help and that nurse called another nurse. By the end of it all, Samson had finally eaten and everyone in the room had touched my boobs. They pricked his heel for a blood test for jaundice. We left to go grab something to eat while we waited for a call with the results. The results showed a bilirubin level of 16 and Samson was admitted to the Beloit Hospital.
We headed home so I could grab a few things and try to feed him again. In Samson’s room, I sat in the rocking chair sobbing and pumping. Drew held our screaming baby and did his best to try and console us both. How does anyone do this on their own?? On top of that disaster, our air conditioner started leaking and the water was pooling up on the floor and soaking the sheetrock. Finally, we made it back to the hospital, got checked in and settled. The nurses placed a goofy looking mask on Samson and stuck him under the bili-light. I thought it would be best for Drew to go home and get some rest away from his two crying humans.
The hospital stay was certainly a blessing in disguise. The night nurse specialized in post-partum care and she was absolutely wonderful. She came in and woke me up each time I needed to nurse and helped us through it. Each time we worked with Sam, she added in little tidbits of information. I was able to really sleep hard in the few hours between feedings because I knew she was coming in and I didn’t have to worry about waking myself up. It was also super nice to just have someone there to talk to. I learned a lot about Courtney that night and it was refreshing to have a conversation about something other than the baby.
Mom and Drew showed up at the hospital on Saturday morning around 8am. They switched on and off keeping us company. Samson was doing much better by the time the doctor came in but he still had to poop before we could go home. That happened around 7pm Saturday evening and who knew we could all be so excited about a big ‘ol poop!! I texted Drew a picture of it. I’m sure he loved that. We decided to stay another night and Mom stayed with us.
I thought we’d be able to just wake up in the morning and head home, but that wasn’t the case. We had to wait for the doctor to come, which didn’t happen until about noon. By then it was time to nurse again so it was 1pm when we were checking out. We pulled up to the house and I needed a little space and a little normal. Drew and I went for a short walk together and afterwards, I put my podcast on and tidied up the house. Ahhhh….
We went back to the doctor on Tuesday for a check-up and all was well! Samson even decided to show off his skills and pee all over the clinic bed while we changed him. It was the classic pee up in the air move. Thanks dude!
That evening, I spoke with a volunteer for the Le Leche League here in Mitchell County. She gave me some more helpful feeding tips. After I spoke with her, I was able to just calm down a little more and I feel like our nursing sessions have been much more relaxed. Things are not necessarily where I’d like them to be at this point, but it’s so much better than it was! Hopefully, with a little more work and different techniques, we’ll get the hang of things. Clearly, neither I or Samson have that instinctive skill that the books speak of when it comes to breastfeeding.
We will keep praying for this to click for us. Then we go ahead and pray for all breastfeeding moms and babies! I like to think that when Samson and I are together – which is all the time at this point – my prayers are his prayers too. That’s two humans praying – which gives us better chances, right?